Mom: I think you probably know this, but if you opt to take the OTC sleeping pills, do not mix them with anything like alcohol or an inhalant!
Andy: I don't want sleeping pills, I want happy pills.
Mom: You said Valium - that is not a happy pill; that's a calm you down and make you sleep pill! Go out and ride your bike and produce endorphins naturally. That's the best way to be happy! Or, go to therapy if you need it and work through your feelings.
Andy: Why can't I just have valium?
Mom: valium is for someone whose life is so bad, they are hysterical all the time and can't calm their nerves. I don't think you need valium and no doctor would give it to you anyway! Drink a glass of wine!
Andy: I drink plenty...fine i want valium's less dramatic cousin.
Mom: oh, that's a good one - go do a vlog with that one!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Letters to random people.
Dear guy on the elevator whose headphones are WAYYYY too loud,
I understand you like to listen to music on your way to work. Who doesn't? But are we living in an age where you it's so easy to replace your ears when you blow them out like that? That music was so loud it could have been coming from the elevator speakers! You should really be more careful with your ears. That's dangerous.
You have also displayed a total lack of respect for those around you who might not want to hear your choice of music. I think the song you were listening to was best described by Vanessa when we got off the elevator at my floor. "What was that? Space music?" Your funky space rap was not only too loud, it was kind of goofy. If you are going to listen to goofy ass space rap, keep it to down. You're not doing yourself any favors by telling everyone around you that you like music that sounds like a white boy free-styling to a keyboard sample demo.
I hope this letter reaches you before you go deaf, guy that works on a floor above me somewhere. I'm just trying to help.
Love,
Andy
I understand you like to listen to music on your way to work. Who doesn't? But are we living in an age where you it's so easy to replace your ears when you blow them out like that? That music was so loud it could have been coming from the elevator speakers! You should really be more careful with your ears. That's dangerous.
You have also displayed a total lack of respect for those around you who might not want to hear your choice of music. I think the song you were listening to was best described by Vanessa when we got off the elevator at my floor. "What was that? Space music?" Your funky space rap was not only too loud, it was kind of goofy. If you are going to listen to goofy ass space rap, keep it to down. You're not doing yourself any favors by telling everyone around you that you like music that sounds like a white boy free-styling to a keyboard sample demo.
I hope this letter reaches you before you go deaf, guy that works on a floor above me somewhere. I'm just trying to help.
Love,
Andy
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
MEAT and fuzzy animals
I was right, there is no way my dinner last night was within sane parameters of calories, it was just a little bit of salad, some alcohol an 11 KINDS OF MEAT. You can read all about Rodizio here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodizio
My meal consisted of:
turkey wrapped in bacon, sausage, chicken, pork loin, beef ribs, pork ribs, skirt steak, roast beef, sirloin steak, beef tender loin
It never stops til you say it does. Amazing. Then I had a triple bypass.
ALSO
This is astonishing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodizio
My meal consisted of:
turkey wrapped in bacon, sausage, chicken, pork loin, beef ribs, pork ribs, skirt steak, roast beef, sirloin steak, beef tender loin
It never stops til you say it does. Amazing. Then I had a triple bypass.
ALSO
This is astonishing.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
New years resolution in full effect
I signed up for Livestrong.com (again inspired by Blue's blog) to count my calories etc. As of lunchtime, every single thing I eat is at completely normal levels except for cholesterol. Look, the print screen button DOES SOMETHING!
This basically means I'm doing almost everything right. If I switch to egg whites, for approximately 50 cents more a day I can lower my cholesterol and be a legitimately healthy eater.
PASSAGE OF TIME
1 HOUR LATER: Stacey did my homework for me, and I probably should have known this already but here goes.
"Although it is still important to limit the amount of cholesterol you eat, especially if you have diabetes, dietary cholesterol isn't nearly the villain it's been portrayed to be. Cholesterol in the bloodstream is what's most important. And the biggest influence on blood cholesterol level is the mix of fats in your diet—not the amount of cholesterol you eat from food."
Therefore, in just a few months, I have made myself into a regular healthy eater. I sure wish I'd written it down as a goal somewhere.
Irony of the day: my aunt and cousin are randomly in the city today and taking me to some Brazillian Grill for dinner so this will completely throw off my normal routine and shoot everything through the roof. Love it.
This basically means I'm doing almost everything right. If I switch to egg whites, for approximately 50 cents more a day I can lower my cholesterol and be a legitimately healthy eater.
PASSAGE OF TIME
1 HOUR LATER: Stacey did my homework for me, and I probably should have known this already but here goes.
"Although it is still important to limit the amount of cholesterol you eat, especially if you have diabetes, dietary cholesterol isn't nearly the villain it's been portrayed to be. Cholesterol in the bloodstream is what's most important. And the biggest influence on blood cholesterol level is the mix of fats in your diet—not the amount of cholesterol you eat from food."
Therefore, in just a few months, I have made myself into a regular healthy eater. I sure wish I'd written it down as a goal somewhere.
Irony of the day: my aunt and cousin are randomly in the city today and taking me to some Brazillian Grill for dinner so this will completely throw off my normal routine and shoot everything through the roof. Love it.
Cosmic hand=awesome
NASA found this crazy shit
http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/space/04/14/space.hand/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/space/04/14/space.hand/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
Monday, April 13, 2009
New vlogs coming soon.
In an effort to stretch myself creatively, I have a new project in the works with a group of awesome people who will...well, give their opinions online for the entertainment of others.
I hope to have an entertaining series with diverse content. I was going to write a whole lot more but all I truly wanted was to put my wish out there.
I recently read Blue's blog where she stated the importance of just writing your goals down. So here it is, and thanks Blue for your blogs the last couple of weeks. I've found so much of what you said really inspiring and thought provoking. Check it out.
http://elizabethblue.wordpress.com
I hope to have an entertaining series with diverse content. I was going to write a whole lot more but all I truly wanted was to put my wish out there.
I recently read Blue's blog where she stated the importance of just writing your goals down. So here it is, and thanks Blue for your blogs the last couple of weeks. I've found so much of what you said really inspiring and thought provoking. Check it out.
http://elizabethblue.wordpress.com
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I can see the future!
Sorry for the lack of vlog this week, but I'm still writing. If you tape a picture of me to the corner of your screen and read this, then it's like I'm vlogging.
This morning I had a premonition. I used to dismiss these things as coincidence but I just can't ignore it anymore. Let me go back to the last significant one I can remember.
When I graduated college I got a new car. The first weekend I had it, I went on my fraternities annual camping trip. While driving on the highway, I suddenly thought, "I hope a rock doesn't nick my new windshield" This is not something I remember ever thinking about any other time in any other car, yet 10 seconds later...THOK! There was a nick in my windshield. Good thing I hadn't suddenly hoped to not be hit by a meteor.
When I'm on the subway, though I'm aware I need to stand up and get off in ten seconds, I don't spend a lot of time preparing for it. Some people will get right in front of the door after the previous stop like they aren't going to make it off in time if they're not ready. I don't do that. I sit or stand and play Klondike on my ipod until the doors are sliding open and I go. This morning, there was a woman and her daughter standing next to me on the crowded 6 train. While clicking my ipod I suddenly had the idea that this woman was going to let me know she needed to get off so I could get out of her way, as I was making no movement to with another 30 seconds or so before arrival at 23rd street. As soon as the thought occurred, the woman tapped my arm and said "We're getting off at the next stop." I told her so was I.
This has never happened to me before in over a year in the city. I've never had a preemptive warning that I was going to need to move, and I never had a spontaneous thought that it was going to happen. This can't be coincidence.
Time to go find one of those alternate reality books that explains why all this happens.
This morning I had a premonition. I used to dismiss these things as coincidence but I just can't ignore it anymore. Let me go back to the last significant one I can remember.
When I graduated college I got a new car. The first weekend I had it, I went on my fraternities annual camping trip. While driving on the highway, I suddenly thought, "I hope a rock doesn't nick my new windshield" This is not something I remember ever thinking about any other time in any other car, yet 10 seconds later...THOK! There was a nick in my windshield. Good thing I hadn't suddenly hoped to not be hit by a meteor.
When I'm on the subway, though I'm aware I need to stand up and get off in ten seconds, I don't spend a lot of time preparing for it. Some people will get right in front of the door after the previous stop like they aren't going to make it off in time if they're not ready. I don't do that. I sit or stand and play Klondike on my ipod until the doors are sliding open and I go. This morning, there was a woman and her daughter standing next to me on the crowded 6 train. While clicking my ipod I suddenly had the idea that this woman was going to let me know she needed to get off so I could get out of her way, as I was making no movement to with another 30 seconds or so before arrival at 23rd street. As soon as the thought occurred, the woman tapped my arm and said "We're getting off at the next stop." I told her so was I.
This has never happened to me before in over a year in the city. I've never had a preemptive warning that I was going to need to move, and I never had a spontaneous thought that it was going to happen. This can't be coincidence.
Time to go find one of those alternate reality books that explains why all this happens.
Friday, April 3, 2009
I don't "LIKE" it
A few minutes ago, my facebook newsfeed notified me that Coldplay had to cancel it's upcoming show in Scranton PA due to a scheduling conflict. I received this notification because I am a fan of Coldplay. If you do not like Coldplay, you should not be a "fan" and should therefore not have this appear on your newsfeed.
Then I noticed that in the 40 seconds since the post went up about 80 people had clicked the "LIKE" button on the notification. I found that a little odd. Why would people "LIKE" a show cancellation of a band they are a fan of? If they don't like Coldplay, why are they fans of it? I could see some "NOT LIKES" but that is not (yet) an option on facebook. I could see some comments making jokes about Dunder Mifflinites being upset. (There are plenty) But that's not what I saw. Right now, 27 minutes after the post went up, 1170 people have LIKED the cancellation of a Coldplay show due to a scheduling conflict. This random occurrence, and inconvenience to anyone who bought a ticket, has garnered cheers from over a thousand people.
These people are FANS of Coldplay on facebook. Why are they fans if they are rooting for shows to be cancelled? Furthermore, this show was cancelled because of scheduling issues, not low ticket sales and not because the band broke up or was injured in a plane crash. What is there to LIKE about it?
This sort of announcement should be upsetting for those who were planning to go. For everyone else...indifference.
In conclusion, people are idiots and facebook is making it a lot easier to prove it. So to the now 1347 people who LIKE that Coldplay had a booking problem...you are all lame. Shutup. There is no conceivable reason to LIKE this unless the show was ruining your plans to do drugs in an empty parking lot in Scranton.
Then I noticed that in the 40 seconds since the post went up about 80 people had clicked the "LIKE" button on the notification. I found that a little odd. Why would people "LIKE" a show cancellation of a band they are a fan of? If they don't like Coldplay, why are they fans of it? I could see some "NOT LIKES" but that is not (yet) an option on facebook. I could see some comments making jokes about Dunder Mifflinites being upset. (There are plenty) But that's not what I saw. Right now, 27 minutes after the post went up, 1170 people have LIKED the cancellation of a Coldplay show due to a scheduling conflict. This random occurrence, and inconvenience to anyone who bought a ticket, has garnered cheers from over a thousand people.
These people are FANS of Coldplay on facebook. Why are they fans if they are rooting for shows to be cancelled? Furthermore, this show was cancelled because of scheduling issues, not low ticket sales and not because the band broke up or was injured in a plane crash. What is there to LIKE about it?
This sort of announcement should be upsetting for those who were planning to go. For everyone else...indifference.
In conclusion, people are idiots and facebook is making it a lot easier to prove it. So to the now 1347 people who LIKE that Coldplay had a booking problem...you are all lame. Shutup. There is no conceivable reason to LIKE this unless the show was ruining your plans to do drugs in an empty parking lot in Scranton.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
SOME VLOGS!
Candice and I will be doing weekly vlogs just like this, except the video quality will be better!
I also guest starred on "Daily Grace" which I can't embed here but here's a link!
http://www.mydamnchannel.com/Daily_Grace/Week_49/WednesdayMarch18th_1301.aspx
I'M ALL OVER THE INTERNET! YAY!
I also guest starred on "Daily Grace" which I can't embed here but here's a link!
http://www.mydamnchannel.com/Daily_Grace/Week_49/WednesdayMarch18th_1301.aspx
I'M ALL OVER THE INTERNET! YAY!
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