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McCain VP!

John McCain has a tough decision to make. He needs to pick a running mate that is going to change the way people perceive him, or somebody who is just cooler and more hip than Barack Obama. Now I don't know a lot about politics. I just read my morning metro and then it's nothing but comic books. I didn't have cable in my Brooklyn hovel until yesterday.

HOWEVER, I do know a few things about cool and as such I have some suggestions for Vice Presidential republican candidates.

1. Mickey Mouse. Who is more patriotic than Mickey Mouse? I'll tell you who, NOBODY. This mouse has been keeping Americans laughing since before the Great Depression so who better to put front and center for the next one. If John McCain is going to continue the Republican regime, we need a big goofy mascot to make us look the other way and say, "That's silly, but not blatantly depressing!"

Although it might be detrimental if Mickey's black ops days during the War of the Heart were to come under public scrutiny.


2. Wolverine. You think McCain is old? This guy was born in the 1800's. Nothing like a 200+ year old mutant freak to make old John look like a spring chicken. AND Wolvie has a lot going for him too. He's a war veteran of something like 5 different wars, and as a Canadian super soldier soldier he never had to follow our silly "rules of engagement". Wolverine has always done what he's been brainwashed to do like any good soldier, and with that healing factor you know we aren't going to have any more heart attack scares. Wolverine could live long enough to stay in office for the foreseeable future. Policy changes don't work, let's stay the course, even if it means blowing everyone in the world up. Wolverine would survive.

He also kills at the box office. Now I know some of you may say, "Andy, he's fictional!" But I've seen real pictures of him and he's hotttt!


3. As long as we're talking about super heroes. Let's talk about me. I'd make a great Vice President. I'd run on the "chill" platform. You guys think taxes are too high, let's lower them man. McCain is my boy, I'll talk to him, he's mad cool. I'll stop the war, war is bad...let's just take the troops out of Iraq. Basically, if me or any of my friends think something sucks, it will be taken care of. I don't need to hear about political interests or long lasting ramifications. Me and my cabinet of out of work NY actors and agency assistants will have a fresh take on politics. The kind that makes pot legal. Also, free cable for everyone.

Oh, and I have super powers too. Here is a recent picture of me in my costume. My codename is Blueforce Space Andy, don't tell anybody it's really me, I'm going to double as VP Gleaner during the day and defend the galactic airways at night. Don't believe thats me? Look closely, there's an earring on the left ear. That's how you know.


4. If not me, then might I suggest Zach Couch, agent assistant extraordinaire. If we can't have the "chill" platform, let's have the "Fabulous" one. Zach is classy---------------------->
<-----------and he has beautiful teeth. What more could you want? I don't think we've had enough Broadway in the White House for a long time and Zach would ensure that each week came complete with at least two designated theater nights. Zach brings that Elle Woods style to the political stage without actually putting a woman in office. It's a perfect compromise. However there has been rumor that Zach isn't entirely straight--------------------->
and that could really hurt him in his run to be a Republican candidate. However, Zach can be very set in his ways and rarely cares what other people think. This sort of style could be a comfort to staunch white old money Republicans who have never been wrong in their lives. If I have to lose my position to anybody else in this office, it's Zach.


So the announcement should be happening any time now. I put good money on these picks and if I win, I'll be sure to change the law quickly so I don't have to pay taxes on my take. Free rides on my new sailboat for anybody that votes for me.

Space and roommates

It's a beautiful Sunday here in Voorhees, NJ and I'm heading back to NY in just a few hours, hoping that all the horrible tornadoes and tropical storms have disappeared, leaving the streets with a few less cigarette butts then before.

When I'm home, I have easily 10 times more space to move about freely. A huge kitchen with a table to sit at and eat; a bathroom with a sink in it; my awesome, house trained dog; trees and a whole bunch of other stuff.

But in Brooklyn, I have this!



Yeah, I live with that. Nothing like a daily dose of complete insanity to remember that I'm living the dream. Check out gracenmichelle.wordpress.com for more of them.

AOL pages!

It just occurred to me that when I was in Middle School I made my first web page. I named it Andy's Brain. The title of this blog must have been a subconscious "shout out" to that. Cheers, old website!

It was a collection of random pages that were all just things I liked. There was a set of X-Men pages where I put up pictures of characters. There was an entire section devoted to Jack hatred in response to a horrible page he made about me in which I was some sort of troll creature that eventually got stoned to death by the other school children. It was almost entirely untrue. I even had a spotlight setup and would write new pages for other friends of mine.

That's right, I was blogging before I even knew what blogging was. I was living in the future! I wonder if that page still exists...

I searched for like 15 minutes but couldn't find it, that would have been crazy. Sorry, I'm failing already to reach the levels of craziness I promised. But the grey layout represents brain matter since I named the thing brain droppings. I'm very clever.

And then I ran out of time to write more because I was given work to do. So, the end.

NEW BLOG!

So many days I would go to my 365 blog and want to write about homeless people, subway problems, homeless people causing subway problems, people with homes; also causing subway problems...you get the idea, all kinds of things!

So this is where my brain can spew out anything I'm thinking and we all know how dangerous that can be. Children and pregnant women might want to steer clear of this one. Also people with pacemakers. It's gonna be CRAZY!!!

Well with that kind of a buildup, it's gonna have to be really good. I'm intimidated by my own ego. CRAP!